Aerial View of Barren Land

"Who breaks the thread, the one who pulls, the one who holds on?"

James Richardson

If you or your spouse are considering ending your relationship/marriage, but are not completely sure that it's the best path, Discernment Counseling is designed for you.


Discernment Counseling is a brief model (1-5 sessions) developed to help couples in which one partner is “leaning out”--not sure that regular marriage counseling will help--while the other is“leaning in." That is, interested in rebuilding the marriage. Some couples who benefit from Discernment Counseling have already tried marriage counseling to no avail. 

As a certified Discernment Counselor, I will help you decide whether to try to restore your marriage to health, move toward divorce, or take a time out and decide later.

The goal of Discernment Counseling is for you to gain clarity and confidence about a direction for your marriage, based on a deeper understanding of your relationship and possibilities for the future. Discernment Counseling is designed not to solve your marital problems, but to see if they are solvable.

I treat each partner with compassion and respect no matter how they are feeling about their marriage. I respect the reasons for divorce while considering the possibility of how partners might restore their marriage to health. I will emphasize the importance of each partner seeing their own contributions to the problems and the possible solutions. This will be useful in future relationships, even if the current relationship ends.

Discernment Counseling is not suited for marriages in which one spouse has already made a final decision to divorce, when one spouse is coercing the other to participate, and/or if there is ongoing domestic violence.

Discernment Counseling begins with a brief phone screening with each partner separately, for which I do not charge. If you would like to begin, or if you have questions about Discernment Counseling, please email me.